


Breath

by ChaussonsAuxPommes



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (French), Alexander Hamilton needs a hug, Fluff and Angst, George Washington is a Dad, I'm a baguette, Jefferson is not an asshole, No pairing because I can't choose, Sorry for the bad english, Trans Alexander Hamilton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 21:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13533141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaussonsAuxPommes/pseuds/ChaussonsAuxPommes
Summary: They were co-workers since years but they didn't know about Alexander's secret. Now they do.(It's baaaad, so baaaaad, because I'm a baguette and because I don't know how to write in english)(Can someone of the fandom correct it ? (I'm not even sure this was correct))





	Breath

Breath. Breath. Breath. Breath.  
Alexander kept repeat it again and again. It was like a mantra. But he couldn't breath, his binder was to tight on his chest. He knew it wasn't a good idea, he had it since three years now and it was distorted as hell. He should have buy another one and throw away this one. He only wear it when he was outside to not take a risk on wounding himself by having on him too long. But it was so torn now that even the few hours outside with a binder was a torture.  
He was at work when he started to hurt too much, far too much. He had seen bruises over his chest that morning but he hadn't paid attention, saying to himself it wasn't that bad. He was regretting his decision. His friends who also were his coworkers didn't know about it. The only person in the office who knew was the boss, Washington. He always had seen through him. It was a father figure for Alexander in a way but he would never admit it outloud.  
He tried to move his binder to make it more adequate but it was worse. He decided to go to the bathroom. As he stood up he bump into Jefferson who was passing in the way. Alexander catch his breath and it became chaos in his head.  
-Watch your step, Hamilton ! Jefferson's growl.  
But Alexander didn't heard, he couldn't breath anymore, he was pretty sure he was bleeding right now and he couldn't fucking breath.  
-Oy, Hamilton ? I'm talking to you !  
-Let him be, Jefferson, said Lafayette from the other side of the office.  
-Alex, you're okay ? Asked Laurens with a frown.  
Alexander nodded weakly and ran to the bathroom without a word. He enter one of the cabin. Breath.Breath.Breath. He couldn't. He eyes started to burn, he couldn't see clearly anymore and he didn't know if it was because of the tears or because he was collapsing. His brain didn't work anymore. Breath.Breath.Breath. Suddenly he heard voices entering the bathroom. No, not now.  
-Alexander ? Said the soft voice of Laf.  
-Alex, can you open the door ? Aked Herc with a worried voice.  
Alexander wanted to tell them to go away, that he was fine but his voice was blocked in his troath. On top of that, he was shirtless, his secret completely exposed. He whined.  
-Oh god, Alex you're okay ?!  
It was John now but Alexander didn't care of anything anymore. Breath.Breath.BREATH !  
The door swung open letting Lafayette, John, Hercules and Aaron see him. He tried to move backward, he only succeed to suffer more. Neither of them spoke for a minute, just looking at Alexander with shock. An Alexander crying and suffering and having a panic attack.  
-He can't breath ! Realize Aaron.  
He fall in front of Alexander and took his shoulders, in a way of taking him back to reality but it only make him suffer more. The door of the bathroom opened again and Jefferson and Washington step in. Jefferson had warned him that something was going on with Hamilton but he wasn't expecting this. He looked at his worst enemy with a frown.  
-What the fuck is that ?! He asked.  
-Watch your language, said Washington while walking toward Hamilton. Burr, step back, he ordered.  
Burr obeyied and Washington took his place in front of Alexander. Hamilton was on the edge of collapsing, his mind was spinning, his breath was hissing. Lafayette cleared his throat, uneased.  
-Mr. Washington, I think Alexander is –  
-Trans. I know.  
-What ?! Said the crowd in unison.  
-Jefferson, go get scissors. Laurens, we need a first-aid kit.  
The two men run out of the bathroom.  
-Lafayette, Mulligan, help me get him out of the cabin.  
They succeed at getting him out and they lay him on the ground. They were all worried about Alexander's health.  
-Burr, be ready to call an ambulance.  
They looked at Washington with schock. That was that bad ?  
-We don't know how much he's wounded, we have to be prepare for the worst, he said then he adress to Alexander. Son, we need you to fight a bit more, you'll be okay, I promess.  
Alexander tried to spoke but only succed at letting out a sob. Jefferson and Laurens were back, they give the material to Washington. He took the scissors.  
-Son, I will cut the binder now, it will probably hurt but it's for the best.  
He started to cut when a shout from Lafayette stopped him.  
-He's bleeding !  
Washington continue to cut the binder, now completely worried about Hamilton. When he finished, he took the binder off of him gently. But the sight of the bruises, the scarf, the bleed... It was so much to handle. Alexander, now free from the binder, took a big gulp of air and then collapsed in Lafayette arms.  
-I'm calling an ambulance ! Said Burr.  
Washington's hands were shaking. He didn't know where to start and how to treat Alexander without hurting him. To everyone's surprise, Jefferson begin to nurse Alexander with caution.  
-What are you doing ?! Screamed John, absolutely anxious about Alexander.  
-My brother is transgender too, I had to tend to him more than once. I know how to deal with that.  
A long silence welcomed his answer. 

Alexander woke up in a white room, in a white bed with white outfits. He didn't know how he ended up there. He tried to remember and then it hit him. He didn't remembered everything but he knew that his friends had saw him, the real him. No, no, no ! Everything's fucked up ! The door opened suddenly and his friends and boss entered followed by a doctor. He didn't wanted to saw them right now. He wanted to be alone. He didn't wanted disgust, mocking, pity... He had enough.  
-So miss Alexandra, said the doctor and it was like a stab in his heart.  
-Mister Alexander, growl Hercules.  
Alexander look up at his friends who were watching the doctor with anger.  
-Excuse-me ? Asked the doctor, clearly confused.  
-HIS name is Alexander, not Alexandra, said Aaron and Lafayette and John nodded vigorously.  
-Ha, yes, excuse-me, mister Alexander, he corrected himself. So, we gave you some painkillers, you're buises and scarfs should healed easily if you wear nothing tight to your chest for awhile, and it include bra and binder of course. I'll come back later, to see if you can go.  
-Awhile ? Asked Alexander as the doctor was leaving.  
-Yeah, a month or so, he said before closing the door.  
A month or so ?! He couldn't make it, it was too long. His secret will be exposed, he couldn't make it. And again, he couldn't breath. In a second his friends were at his side. John took his hand.  
-Alexander, breath ! For god's sake, breath ! It will be okay.  
-You're not mad ? Why are you there ? I can't make it, it's too long... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...  
-Would you shut up, said Aaron to everyone's surprise. There is nothing to be sorry about, you're trans ? Okay. We don't care. For us you're always Alexander Hamilton, a fucking arrogant jackass who's convince that he's always right.  
-Yup, he's right, added Hercules, seriously dude, you thought that it would change anything ? You're still the same for us.  
Alexander was looking at them with awe, like it was the first time he saw them. Washington in the back was looking at him with a glance which mean 'I told you so'. He smiled brightly at his friends. John hugged him, not to tight. His chest was still hurting but he so warm inside because of his amazing friends.  
-Can I ask questions ? Asked Lafayette with a curious look.  
-Laf, no ! Said John.  
-It's okay, John. Go on, Laf.  
-How long have you been – huh what the word – transitioning ? Is that good ?  
-Yes that's right. It's been a bit more than three years now.  
-And how does it work ?  
-Well, to be simple : I have testosterone injections and I wear a binder as you had sa – Wait... Have you... Have you seen my ?  
-Yes, said Lafayette while the others where blushing a bit.  
-Oh no.  
-Don't worry, there totally fine ! I've seen worst boobs.  
-Shut up Laf, said the others in unison.  
-What ? It's true, you don't think they are well rounded ? He asked innocently.  
The others blushed again and shoot him a death glare. And Alexander ? Well, he laughed and laughed and laughed. So much that his ribs hurted. The crew looked at him like he was mad. He finally stopped and hugged his french friend.  
-Laf ?  
-Oui ?  
-Tu es incroyable. *  
-Merci, je sais. **  
Alexander had always hated his breasts, so hearing his friend compliment him about that was comforting in a way. Washington finally spoke.  
-About that, have you planned your surgery ?  
-Not yet, it cost a lot so I'll wait until I can afford it.  
He nodded.  
-We will let you rest now.  
-'kay, thanks, said Alex in a yawn.  
John hugged him, Hercules too, Lafayette kissed him on his forehead and Aaron shook his hand. They left. Then Washington ruffle his hairs.  
-Get some rest, son.  
-I’m not you're son, pouted Alexander but he smiled too.  
-Yes, you are, smirked Washington.  
He left too. Soon after he fall asleep with a big smile on his face. 

He came back to work two weeks after. He had done a lot of work at home despite what his friends had said. John had tried to take down his internet to make him stop emailing the whole office about random case. Lafayette and Hercules had succeed to take him out to shopping, they had found a new binder for Alex but Laf kept it at home because they knew Alex would wear it even if it was forbidden. Aaron was almost living at Alex’s at this point, he was eating with him every evening to make sure he was eating correctly, they were talking about case and then Aaron would force Alexander to go to bed and he would sleep on the couch. And every morning Aaron would make sure Alexander take care of his scarfs and goes to work.  
So he was finally back. He was wearing a very large sweatshirt to mask his chest. He knew that the whole office knew the truth now. He was scared but felt supported at the same time. He felt a hand on his shoulder, it was Aaron, he was looking at him with a heartwarming smile. He smiled too and they enter the office as they had always done before. He saw the weird look some of his co-workers gave him but no one said anything. Suddenly he saw Jefferson running toward him. The men show him a paper.  
-Hamilton ! The fuck is that ?! He shouted.  
-It was the best to do, shouted back Hamilton.  
-You're the stupidest man I've ever know !  
In two minutes the office was filled by the screaming of the two men. As always.

**Author's Note:**

> * You're incredible  
> **Thanks, I know  
> Je suis actuellement en cours de culture japonaise. Je suis même pas inscrite à ce cours. C'est nul.  
> J'espère que vous passez une bonne journée.  
> Et à ceux qui ont cherchés la traduction, je suis désolée pour la déception.  
> Love y'all


End file.
